Ideal White: 弱い獣
by Messed-upSaia
Summary: The old Kaneki was a kind and gentle young man but now a bedridden cripple who can no longer make use of his legs. And Max is a cynical and introverted woman who nurses Kaneki then questions his fabricated compassion of his bleeding heart. What made him gone cold?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

The bus stop wasn't all special to anyone who'd stood by it and wait for a ride to their destination, but to Max, it reflected many memories she'd never forget. She remember it all clear as day.  
'Wait for me here' said her mom once when Max was a naive and dirty child, and so she obediently waited as she was told. It was the rouse of December that time, so everything around was an ice-white field because of the chunky amount of snow covering the dirt.

She stood at this very spot like that time. However clock marched on, hours flew by and her mother never returned to this barren street. So there came a stunted and nice old man, he said that her mom sent him, as a little girl she was thrilled that she could finally go home. She giggled softly, then soon after, her laughter faded into an eerie silence as the man only eyed her with anticipated hunger. Her dark tourmaline orbs had unforeseen her jeopardy.  
Blood smothered across the fallen snows, as red as freshly bloomed roses. That was when she realized it was _her _blood that the snow drank heartily.

Max could no longer recall who or what saved her on that coldest day. All she knew that day was that ghouls hadtriumphed over the humans because harmonizing was beyond possibility. And that humans became nothing but meat served on dining tables or either an object to infamous slavery, but some others were fortunate to live a normal life to prevent further extinction.

...

"I've been waiting for ten minutes," Max groaned as she gingerly kicked the bus post with the heel of her shoe, she wouldn't want her brown envelope containing crucial documents to drop and be dragged away by the wind, so she firmly held it under her armpit.  
Max was a student in Kamii University with a major in nursing. She was young woman in her early 20's with a round shaped face with a slightly sharp chin and small cheekbones, her ebony hair matched the shade of her dark bored eyes under her evenly trimmed fringe, her locks – tied into proper ponytail had natural soft curls on its ends that sometimes entangled like cobwebs whenever the wind blew crudely.

Her rumbling emotions were mixed with frenzy and jitters that she wore her uniform beforehand on her first day of work, her garb consisted of a light blue polo buttoned shirt with side zipped pants that she washed and ironed twice for a neat-freak she was.

She was on her way to Tokyo General Hospital, where she was urgently assigned as a part-timer to due to her young sister's misgivings and more financial crisis at home. Max needed money more than anything, if not, her sister would die from her whines and starvation. The spoiled sister was picky with her nutritional menu and Max couldn't do anything about it when she was miles away from her.

Max covered her ears when she heard motorcycle tires screeched halt in front of her, the rider wore an all-black leather jacket and jeans with a white helmet atop his head, he took off the head gear and down came his pitch-mauve messy hair. His fierce blue eyes focused on her stunned face then her right chest where her bronze-plated name tag was pinned on her uniform. He blinked twice upon seeing her name and his too-handsome face tugged slightly on her heartstrings.

"Coming to the hospital? Hop on," the rider offered, putting his helmet back on then tossing her another extra helmet and she caught it in her arms but of course, she'd throw question.

Squinting her eyes at him with her brows jerked together, she refused to budge in front of the unfamiliar man, "Do I know you? I'm waiting for a bus, not _you_." Max knew well enough to _not _trust strangers anymore.

She heard him click his tongue from inside the helmet, it made her twitch at how fumed he was on her refusal, "It's Ayato," he gestured to himself with a thumb, "You're Maxine. _I_ hired you to look after someone at the hospital. Now hop on or I'll fire you."  
Indeed Ayato hated rejection – _way_ more than be drooled at by women – it was a slap to his face, considering that he rarely offered much help to others, and he most of all didn't want to be rejected by a lowly human of his norm. This free ride that he offered to Max was a scarce pass since they were both heading for the hospital and she was his employee after all.

"Oh, Kirishima-san! R-Right away," she stuttered then jumped on the vehicle. Despite the tyrannical temper Ayato showed, she gladly wrapped her thin arms around his gallant torso because who could resist a handsome boss? And who wouldn't fall off if not not held onto him when he literally sped up all the way to the hospital?  
Max prayed to all gods she knew, she prayed that she'd make it to the hospital alive with her limbs still intact, she kept telling her boss to slow down but he ordered her to 'shut her trap' and let him drive 'peacefully'.

It should had been a thirty minute ride to the hospital on bus but the two arrived in less than ten minutes. Ayato parked his motorcycle not too far from the main entrance of the hospital, he was first to disengage while Max stayed in place of her seat, completely motionless. While taking off his helmet, he asked her, "You want me to drag you off that?"

Max quickly took off her helmet as well then she inhaled in some air. Her mind was fuzzy and her vision reeled slightly, "No, just a minute," she slowly set her feet on the ground when she noticed her hair was in all directions, with a hand, she dragged it on her tied locks and _voila_, her hair mended as it usually looked.

With her off the vehicle, Ayato went through his seat compartment and picked up a few number of thick covered books, "Come on." He paced quick and ahead of Max. She wasn't sure why he was in a much of a hurry than her so she just followed him without word.

xXx

_Room 402. This is it. _Max readied herself, her half excitement was replaced by butterflies in her stomach. She wondered what kind of man was behind the door. Will he be kind or rash? Will she be a disappointment or she'd do well for him? She managed to strip away her negative thinking, she wouldn't want to appear blue on her very first day.

Ayato twisted the doorknob open and welcomed themselves in the room. The place contained silence, and was fair and dim, the blinds restricted the great amount of sunlight coming through the huge glass windows. There was a small cabinet at the corner, an oxygen monitor and table beside the center bed where a frail young man slept soundly.  
This man was no other than Kaneki.

His quiet face was narrow oblong shaped with a prominent chin and sturdy jaw line. His eyes were perfectly shut, sitting below his thin brows. Fine pursed lips were gray in color, making it appear that he'd been confined for a while.  
And what usually caught the eye was his bizarre ivory hair that hung straight and short. Max knew that age with hair white as his could only mean that he suffered 'Marie Antoinette Syndrome', and what caused his mental and physical stress peeved her, but she'd rather keep her curiosity to herself and keep her focus on the job.

"He's asleep," Ayato rolled his eyes.

Several wires connected to apparatuses were attached Kaneki's skeletal and feeble pale arms, it supplied his necessary nutrients that his body couldn't perform. Kaneki was just there, looking peaceful and calm, as if his dreams were a better place than the cages of the hospital and _reality_.

"... Is he your brother?" Max inquired, she almost shrunk when she waited for her grumpy boss to respond.

Ayato shook his head with a crisp answer, "No. Not even a relative." He dragged her out of the room by the arm, "There's no point staying there if the bastard's knocked out," he felt her sharp glare drilling at the side of his head, but she didn't utter a word for it. Which was good, he didn't want to hear her complain anyway and if she did, she'd probably be an idiot for not noticing the triggers of his temper.  
He sat down firstly on one of the rows of chairs outside Kaneki's room, he tapped the seat beside him. "Sit,"and she did as she was commanded.

"Uh..." Max tried to come up with something to spark a small talk with Ayato but then she thought talking might spark his bad mood instead.

"What the hell? You're all prim and proper after knowing I'm the one who'll sign your check," he stated with a dash of sarcasm, "It's _hilarious_, ya know."

"Yeah, you're the man, after all," she laughed dryly.

"Fuck it, drop the act already. You're a cynical and an impatient woman, I saw you kick the bus post."

She nodded when he hit the mark on her, "All right, all right. I won't play nice with _you_." Max had been wanting to deliver a blow on his smug pretty face the first time he talked to her, but her conscience begged her not to. She'd kiss her paycheck goodbye if she did.

"Great. We have an agreement. Hand over your application, I only read your name before." Max rolled her eyes and took out her form from her envelope she carried then she handed it over to Ayato but he snatched it, reading out loud, "Name: Maxine... blah blah... Age: 22... Occupation: Idiot... Interesting." He tossed her papers onto her lap then stood up from his seat with a sly and subtle grin.

"Hey, I did _not_ write that," Max defended, quickly biting into his cheap tease.

Unbeknownst to her, Ayato only broke the ice between them, he was successful in making her go on and rupture the awkward silence that threatened engulf earlier. Although there was no way of knowing that with the way he did it. Her first impression on him _wasn't_... very good, but it didn't matter to Ayato if she hated him, to him she was just an inferior human being under the mercy of his money.

"Get up. You're on duty. If something goes wrong, I'll throw you out of the window," he had set and said his rules, leaving no room for argument.  
With that, he tossed her a glare and the thick covered books he had earlier, then quickly headed inside the elevator near the staircases. His pompous mug left along with him.

Max stood and paced shortly towards Kaneki's room, she knocked first unlike Ayato did, then with no answer she peered inside to see that her patient was already up but not ushering a single sound from his thin and pale lips. What was wrong with him?

* * *

**Well, this prompt was going on a while in my brain. Lemme know what ya think~**

(c) to Ayana Mashiro for story title (it's a song title actually)  
(c) to respective owners for cover image, I only did the editing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Max blinked twice at Kaneki, he was sitting up and staring into nothing but air. His clear gray eyes voided of anything. _Was he mute?_ Max wondered then she went by his side, his gaze started trailing her face, familiarizing her so he wouldn't forget until their eyes locked. She said softly, trying to appear gentle, "I'm Maxine but you can call me Max like most people did. And I'll be taking care of you from now on," she said but he only nodded without a word.

And that was the last conversation she had with him the whole day. His communication consisted of a nod that meant 'yes' and a slight shake on the head from left to right that meant 'no'. The silence was always present, except it wasn't deafening to her because she also preferred it that way than go around in circles to figure out his silent whims, even so, Kaneki didn't ask much out of her. All she did was brought him his meals and medicine, his sponge bath and clothes, and when he seemed bored, she'd pass him the remote then he'd just watch TV in silence or read books from cover to cover. Max had it easy, she thought the job would be a punishment because he was a cripple and being a cripple meant crap. He could no longer made use of most of bony limbs and only machines kept him from withering away.

Then on the next day, that process of their interaction would repeat on the day after that and onwards. It wasn't entirely boring that every day was no different from the other but Max felt like she was slowly progressing with the serene fellow, at times he'd start to show a small smile _but_ not to her but the books he read. He was happier that way. Which was a good thing if she was going to spend more than half her day with him, he seemed like a nice guy that never caused her trouble and she was an anti-social from middle school to college, so the least she could do was develop a small connection with Kaneki.

"Are you sleepy?" Max stood by the bed while she checked his medication charts, then after, she place it on the bedside table.

He just nodded at her.

For Kaneki, he had mistakes that weighed him down and he suffered in silence because he thought he deserved it. Because he was a fool. Because he didn't want to burden others for his weakness, but now that philosophy of his made him miserable and alone. Ayato took care of his expenses but he was no more than someone who was indebted to him and Kaneki accepted that, the younger ghoul insisted anyway.  
He just lost far too much people he cared for and loved that he himself was afraid of making sparks of connections with others. He even thought that being a cripple would suit him and that the hospital was a new home to isolate him from making these connections. Even if he only had a year to treasure the remaining of his life span.

That's why he couldn't stand the way Max treated him like a fragile glass ready to be shattered, that's why the connection she tried to reach would better be off severed. And that's why he remained silent the whole time.

When he fell asleep, she left the room and quench her thirst with some soda then eat out for lunch. On her way to the lobby, she could see other nurses and employees chat harmoniously and she wondered what it would be like in that light where she could just talk to anyone normally without giving them a cold shoulder at some point.  
But suddenly not having the appetite for anything, she headed back to Kaneki's room to check if he was awake but she crossed paths with Ayato, probably to visit the white haired male.

Ayato clicked his tongue to see that Kaneki was still sleeping when he arrived his room, "Why the hell is he always asleep when I'm here?" With the impatience crawling into his mind, he stormed by the bedside and swiftly kicked the bed post, producing a high pitched _ting! _from the metal, "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty."

Max immediately pulled him away by the arm, "Hey! Don't do that."

"Shut up."

"Okay."

With the force that shook the bed and into Kaneki's body, he slowly jolted upright. His eyes were still hazy from the sudden wake, " Ayato...?" he mumbled softly then rubbed the sleep off his orbs.

_So he can talk... to Ayato though. _Max told herself.

Ayato tossed a number of books atop Kaneki's bed, he scowled as he began to talk his way through, "Stop addressing those _crap_ to mine. It's cramping my goddamn mailbox."

Kaneki lowered his eyes with a soft smile that lit up his thin face. It was a sad one, "Sorry, I tend to forget," reaching for the books by his feet, he chuckled weakly at Ayato. Max was fascinated at how his voice actually chimed for the first time, it was new and soothing in her ears, "I had them ordered right away because I know its movie adaptation would be next year and I won't be here anymore to see that."

Max felt a sharp ache bolted into her heart as soon as she heard him agonize over one of the things that seemed to keep him happy. She was told that he only had a year to spare and he spent his days reading books while strapped on the bed with slim tubes wired to his veins. He was just dull living his days like that.

He had to see that the world was a better place than be imprisoned in the hospital, that the world bloomed in different pretty colors despite being tainted in red. Max didn't have pleasant memories to bring with her but seeing Kaneki live as a gray soul was just unfair. He still had the chance to change his cradle to grave when she couldn't even reach for her own. At least she wanted to give him hope for a reason she didn't even know yet but she felt that she had to. Her mouth unfastened, "You can't just live your life in bed then..." both of the men looked in her direction, a bit bewildered at her sudden words, "Doctor said if you had enough strength one of these days, you could be on the wheelchair and be discharged right away."

Kaneki's gaze went from soft to cold just as his voice did, "... It doesn't matter anymore."


End file.
